my daily reflections…

though my recovery was a gift to me, it is somethin i have had to work hard to keep. i had to take the lumps of the times before recovery as well as the lumps after comin into recovery. by lumps before recovery, i mean the alcoholic torture i put others and myself through. by the lumps after comin into recovery i mean the hard cold truths about who i had become, the reasons i did the things i did, and the facts of what it would take to maintain a sober life in recovery. the spiritual principles of recovery were freely given to me; it has been my decision to do the work needed to keep them active in my life. i by no means can take credit for any of my recovery for i know whom deserves the true praise. it certainly is not i, it is my Higher Power. each day i must give Him thanks and pass on that thanks through gratuitous behavior toward others. for me to understand and know humility i had to learn how to become humble. essential to this understandin was the process of allowin my HP into my life, relinquishin control of negative self-desire by thinkin i was the only one who knew what was best for me, and lettin go of the ways i tried to control EVERYTHING around me. buildin this relationship with God was difficult in the first stages of my recovery. engrained in me was such a wall of mistrust, self-loathin, and fear, that my relationship with my HP had to be done in little pieces and small chunks of faith. today, i cannot say that i have mastered humility, however, i can say that my understandin of it is much better as i have practiced it over my years in recovery. with the blessin of understandin and practice usin humility to allow my life to unfurl around me as my HP would have done, i am better and better as each day goes by. genuine humility is at work in my life, i work at not controllin the happenins around me, and have accepted the limitations of self-control within. its not what i know in recovery that keeps me sober. its what i do that keeps me sober. 1 day @ a time…