my daily reflections…

fer a while, early in recovery, i wondered how people lived without drinkin to take the edge off. i can also remember the loneliness that seemed to encompass my very core, it was not fun. i remember not wantin to hurt anybody ever again the way i had hurt my loved ones around me, the ones i swore to protect and love to the end of my days on earth. that feelin has not left me to date; i do not ever want to be the reason that someone feels unloved again. fer me, the only way to make sure that doesnt happen again is to not pick up a drink. i remember the feelins of self-loathin that came along with that bitter morass of self-pity and loneliness caused from my drinkin; they are very easily recalled and send a wave of emotion through my body. as long as i keep doin what i have been doin daily, i know that as my recovery evolves, and my spirituality grows, i will not ever have to go through those very painful emotions again. it is up to me to be responsible fer my own recovery by continuin to do what is necessary to keep what i have. my HP has given me a gift, it may not be monetary, it may not be material, but it is somethin i love to share with others whenever i get the chance, it is my story, my recovery. with total acceptance of self, the feelins of love, forgiveness, and hope, still fill my soul and heart with a happiness that i am not willin to let go of. today, i get to have total acceptance. today, i get to know life without alcohol. today, i am able to imagine life with alcohol, or without alcohol. today, i get to fear loneliness, no longer. today, i get to know happiness, joy, & freedom such as many do. i have surpassed the jumpin-off place. today i get to look forward to my life. 1 day @ a time…