my daily reflections…

after bein shut down fer so long wallowin in my own self-loathin, misguided, leadership, it was nice to finally be out in the real world. it took me time to finally get back into the swing of normal life. i have a friend who refers to "them", people who have been in the program fer a while and have gone through the struggles of early recovery, as pigs, lol. i know it may sound bad but there is love, compassion, and trust behind the reference. its how i seen "them" at 1st too. i wanted what “they” had, and it took me time to build trust to get to know “them.” “they” seemed to always be right, and “they” were. “they” had found a way to beat this shit. today i am a part of "them", as i was while drinkin and as i am today. it took a lil bit of time fer me before i was able to laugh at my own alcoholic misfortune. i can remember many times i would tell my sponsor somethin early on and he would just chuckle. i thought WTF was so funny about that. i mean funny like im a clown, i amuse you? WTF is so funny about me? tell me, tell me whats so funny! but as i have grown in this thing we do, i can look back and chuckle or even laugh out boisterously at a decision i had made. i can see the selfishness about those situations and clearly know that they were driven by my alcoholic thinkin and lifestyle. as i approached the beginnin of the end of my old life and the emergence into this new one, i was grateful there was room enough fer me to make mistakes and learn from my past experience. today in meetins, i find myself givin a laugh aloud when someone mentions a behavior of theirs that i did, or had, i can relate to or identify, and realize from their experience i was just the same. i am glad today to be able to live with the gift of laughter at my own expense knowin my HP is lookin out fer me day by day. rememberin rule 62, to not take myself too seriously. 1 day @ a time…