my daily reflections…

everythin, all my life before my recovery while out doin my dirt, was done in a fashion of hurry up and get it done, its all i knew. havin this mindset when i was asked by my sponsor to "buy a bag of popcorn and watch the movie," was a concept that was certainly somethin i thought was ridiculous. even with an understandin, "all good things come to those who wait," i still had to put JOEL into the equation to try to make things move quicker to the way i wanted em. slowin down was somethin that took me time to learn when i came in. hell man, im still workin on it. as the days go by i am learnin to understand this recovery thing is a lifelong task and that the popcorn really dont taste that bad. bein riddled with doubt and fear at times today, i can get to wonderin/worryin how i can continue to move forward. sometimes, life just seems to become too much to manage, i get scared, and loose train of thought and my connection with my HP. when i am wrapped in self, lettin my will become my drivin force, seems to me to be the right way to go. these are the times i need to stop and remember what brought me to the place i am today. my alcoholism can become my greatest enemy or my best friend. when i get to that point a favorable self-reminder of the things that happened before i came into this thing we do is somethin i must do. takin a few minutes to reconnect with my HP through meditation and prayer always seems to get me started on the right track again. the spiritual block is then removed and i can once again take it easy. this thing we do has taught me many great tools, takin it easy is a lifelong task accomplished by merely livin in the moment, in today. takin it easy involves usin the faith this thing we do guides me toward learnin. it means surrenderin my will, false-ambitions, and expectations, so fear doesnt play a part in my psyche. 1 day @ a time…