my daily reflections…

i had heard once that resentment was a way of refeelin a past done harm. fer me this refeelin was always an incomprehensible painful thing. this mornin i read a friends post, and it brought up emotions that i hadnt felt in a long time of how much i used to truly hate myself fer the things i had done to others in my past. it brought tears to my eyes and still does as i type this. then, i used to drink that pain away, but today, i know God and i know peace. it doesnt mean that i dont ignore those painful things and drink them away, it just means that i can face them today and know that God will walk alongside me as i trudge through those feelins. it has been taught to me from others in recovery and from my own experience that when i am full of self, and ANY resentment, i have blocked myself from receivin any spiritual help from my HP or others around me. i dont want to live a life filled with futility and unhappiness, i have already done that. what i want today is to live a life that is effective and happy. what this thing we do has offered me is a way of life that has given me a spiritual experience it provides since the day i started livin it. this spiritual experience has given me ways to let loose of resentment today which are healthy, balanced, and productive. when i follow its suggestions, futility and unhappiness become a life of rich, fully lived happy nuturin experiences which continue to grow each time i use the suggested foundation of its truth. 1 day @ a time…