my daily reflections…

this is at times still a struggle fer me, to let someone in close, to let them really get to know me. the program teaches that i must love others so that they can love me, but in order fer this to happen i must love myself. it is truly an action by me to get out of self, which allows me to love another. my HP helps me every day to combat the fear and tear down that wall. i was always a loner before comin into this thing we do. i can remember my wife askin me why i didnt have any friends. i could never answer that question, i didnt know the answer. this thing we do lead me into the answer to that question though. i found out through the process of the steps i had resentments toward people that were buried deep within and in harborin those resentments, fear had me shuttin others out from my life so i could not get hurt any more. it was a revelation to find out i was such an introvert all my life, i never thought i was. bein as such lead me into countless self-servin behaviors which i learned were my character defects and shortcomins. much of what this mornins readin speaks of is true when it comes to my relationships with others before comin into this thing we do. i have had to work hard at breakin down lifelong barriers to be who i am today. its still not easy fer me, i still have to work extremely hard at it, sometimes, i feel inside, even goin to the far extreme. through diligent, arduous, work with the spiritual principles of this thing we do i am not the same person i was 18 years ago. today i can form true partnerships that are healthy and lastin. 1 day @ a time…