My troubling Journey

Hi, my name is Cheyenne, and i'm an addict in recovery. Those 11 words are the most chilling words, as I never would've seen myself here today. I hung out 24//7 with people using with no desire ever too use until he came along. I enjoyed and trusted him. He was an addict who had been sober for over a year. He didn't talk me into it, but he didn't want to stop me either. December of 2021 is when I started and here I am today, still using on and off. Using has taken my job, my kids, my sanity and so much more. Some days the stress is unbelievable, and some days I cope with it perfect. I promise myself way to often that i'm going to quit and it goes well for a few days but never longer than a week. The program I am in is through DCF (department of children and families). I have a Therapist, Peer specialist, and case manager. I also have an outside Case manager, Therapist, and a domestic violence specialist. It all is involved with DCF. My recovery started the day my children got taken temporarily in April of 2022. My oldest two's father took them temporarily through court and my youngest is with an old friends family. I havent seen my oldest two in 6 months and I rarely see my littlest because it hurts to bad. I've missed so much of their lives and it has destroyed me in everyway possible. I am truthfully lost in life. The help im getting isn't helping. Maybe with my emotions and understanding of things, my anger and communication, but not using. How do words and packets help you quit? Why is locking us away from the world for over a month to get sober even sound like a good plan to anyone. Why am I nearly 6 months into recovery and feel like I have no gotten a step further than where I was already at, at the beginning. I am so lost and confused.