Relapse and me

10 Months ago, I had entered a 30 day treatment center in Colorado. After 30 years of ups and downs with alcohol. I had spent 13 years sober in my life, relapse sent me reeling into another 9 years of moderate to heavy drinking, short burst of sobriety, then it would get worse. The Merry Go Round begun. It got to the point where i could not function anymore and checked in! It was fantastic, learned a lot about myself, working out, diet, yoga and friendship and spilling my guts! Around Thanksgiving, I felt like I had relapsed. Not feeling good. Not doing any of the things I had wanted to do and spent all free time gaming or watching TV. Eating bad food. After Christmas, I caught the Covid. I felt awful, just awful. It was pretty rough. I just wanted to feel better. A few weeks ago, I took the first drink that brought me into oblivion. It was not the friendly helper I remembered from long ago. It was a raging demon. Horrid and scary. After coming out of the darkness last saturday morning, I had a few hangover beers and realized, I needed to quit. After that, I found GOD and AA. I am doing the things I was supposed to be doing all along, and a week later feel fantastic. I'm thankful for my relapse because it brought me to the one thing that had not happened. Brought me to my knees to completely rely on God and fellowship.