Religious Addiction – The pros and cons of daily practices

My name is Jeff, I am an alcoholic, drug addict and codependent with PTSD and Bipolar Disorder in recovery. I am also a 12 step sponsor, a Recovery Consultant and Omnist Revered. In my life I have practiced and researched many things in search of the truth about what is wrong with me and how life works. I am grateful to say that I have come to a point in my life where I am confident in the things I have learned and the philosophy I have built around my experiences. I have personally been Atheist, Agnostic, Christian, Muslim, I have a deep understanding of Buddhism and Taoism and I study Hinduism, Judaism, Sikhism, Jainism, Nihilism (world religion and philosophy in general). They all make sense to me to a degree, however I have never fully committed to any of them, no one single religion has all the answers I was looking for. In truth, non- committal is part of my faith, my mission is to always remain open to new understandings. I treat my 12 step recovery the same. I am grateful to participate in several 12 step fellowships and I have never fully committed to any of them, again because it is against the principles of my faith. It would also be a poor approach to my recovery, because my conditions are numerous and some are quite severe. I became an Omnist Reverend for two reasons. First, my understanding of God is profound and I believe it can help save lives. It does not matter to me what religion you practice if any, I can speak to anyone with the same passion about faith and in a language that they are comfortable with. That is the backstory for what I am about to explain. I am grateful that I have come to peace with the concepts of God and Religion because it improves the quality of my recovery. Frankly, 12 step recovery scares away a lot of people because it looks like a religion and the people who really embrace it, sound like they are in a cult. It's true, face it, 12 step recovery does have a lot in common with religions and cults and even if you do not think so, try to understand that the majority of the planet does think so. Understanding the similarities helps me come to terms with the differences, regardless I support both things. In reality, even the people who are adamantly against religion, are in fact practicing a religion of their own creation. Twelve step recovery and religion share some common features, many of which have the same types of benefits. I am self-taught and have come up with my own language and understanding for religion that does not align with the popular conception of what religion is. First, understand that anything we surrender our focus to in any given moment becomes a form of higher power to us. Do you love golf, stamp collecting, sleeping, eating, travel, drugs and alcohol? Literally anything in this life can become a higher power to us when we focus on it because we can only fully focus on one thing at a time. A balanced life has equal focus in 8 areas of wellness, the life of an addict is focused in only certain areas of wellness and hyper focused on the things that make us feel good. Religion, offers us tools and practices on how to connect with something that is arguably, the healthiest thing in the universe. After practicing many things, what I find people are looking for mostly in religion is a sense of inner peace. So, I have redefined religion as any self-care practices that serve us, because each of the things we do to care for ourselves are intended to give us a sense of peace. Example: When I am hungry, I am disturbed and when I eat I care for that issue and return to peace. I do this actively religiously, because without it I will eventually die. Eating rituals are part of a set of personal self-care practices, aka religion. I know, there are many people who will not care for that statement but they do not understand addiction the same way I do. I personally practice 12 Step Recovery, religiously. I cannot live without it and there are things I need to do daily to help me stay tuned into my sense of inner peace. I pray, meditate, talk to sponsees and friends in recovery, I read some but not much literature and I post inspiration and Omnist teachings daily here and on other social media. This is part of the religion of my making and I stick to it because I continue to see the benefits. That is the one crucial element that causes people to judge religion harshly, blaming it for the problems of the world. When we do not give ourselves to religious practices, we cannot see the benefits. I can promise you, religion is absolutely not at fault, the real cause of all suffering ever, is the human Ego. There are healthy and unhealthy people in every culture, country, race and religion. The people who get the most out of their religious practices, are the ones who have learned Acceptance, period. Humans are flawed, we do harmful things and each of us are in denial about some great truth. There are great benefits to committing to a single religion or recovery model, the examples are everywhere if we looking for peace. In recovery, the people who are most peaceful and most accepting are often the same people who gave themselves completely to the practice of their chosen fellowship. They become the ambassadors of their fellowship, opening the door, giving themselves to service work, keeping the fellowship in operation for the next people coming in. I have deep respect for the people who have fully embraced any program of recovery or any religion. At the same time, I do not want to be like them. I am terminally unique, I need to do things the hard way, the wrong way and my way until I have hurt myself enough to gain emotional intelligence and complete understanding. I would like to be painfully honest at this point too. The second reason I decided to become ordained, was to piss off other ordained people. I am not at all traditional for a person of God. First, it is against my religion to convert anyone, I must by the terms of my faith accept whatever they believe. Second, I curse worse than a sailor. I say things that nobody wants to hear or can believe came out of my mouth. Third, I do not believe in sacrilege, I do not fear any punishment for joking about religion or God. I once told a friend of mine I hope to have the worst reputation as a Reverend ever. He cautioned me saying it was a tall order, I assured him I was committed to breaking the mold and being a horrible example of a traditional man of God. As I mentioned, I am compelled to do things wrong and suffer the pain of experiencing the hard way. Those are my thoughts for today and I am prepared for some pushback. If you can relate to my post, please share some of your self-care rituals, the things that make up your personal religion. Thank you, bless you and best wishes.