Toxic Positivity in Recovery

Toxic positivity is a form of denial that says as long as I keep a positive attitude, life is great. That is a bold face lie, life is not great for many people and that is why I am writing this post. I just got off the phone with a new potential sponsee who is struggling badly, considering hospitalization and I encouraged this person to get any care they felt was needed. I extended an invitation and suggested at least three meetings a week here on ITR as part of their recovery. I anticipated this person would likely do more as long as they had the proper motivation to do so. I hope to provide something that other sponsors have not been able to give, radical acceptance, I sponsor people even while they are relapsing. That is provided, they do not judge or shame me in the process. For the newcomers who need more than Bigbook answers and for the chronic relapsers in recovery, this post is for you. I have been to meetings from several fellowships and there is a group of people I avoid like the plague because we have nothing in common. They call themselves "The Winners" and I want nothing to do with them because they are doing great and they sure love to brag about it. Meanwhile, those of us who are still struggling are feeling worthless because there is no way we will be doing as well as these people any time soon. Some of us have real problems and serious conditions. We may still have active addictions or be suffering from numerous losses and traumas and mental health issues. There is no way in the world there is a Bigbook solution for every trauma known, and that is why there are several programs to help us approach recovery from any perspectives needed. I just want to say clearly that while I respect all examples of long-term recovery, if you are in the "winners circle", stay the hell away from me. You can go lovingly cup your friends balls while you brag about how great life is. I do not mind at all, just leave me out of it because I am living near poverty and I still have a lot of issues I am sorting out. Bottom line, I have total respect for long-term recovery, I have zero respect for bragging. Life is suffering. If you are not, someone else is. Have the good sense to remember before you share, not everyone has a charmed life in recovery. Rev. Jeff Rounds for Mixed Recovery, Inc.