I have not felt as if I had any connection with my ancestors; but it turns out that I do. Not in the “descended from royalty” kind, or the “long line of heroes” type, but the “inherited a poor resilience structure” kind. I do have a history, and it is painful. After several years in
Addiction and dependence have many definitions. There are many different opinions and many heated arguments around the subject. For me there is no one clear definition for each person regarding their dependence or addiction. Humans are too complicated and their circumstances too individual to stick a generic prescription on what looks like a similar dis-ease.
When I was in college my friends and I liked to party, which I always thought was normal until it wasn’t. Two weeks before my graduation I entered a drug treatment center. I think I was lucky to be able to get professional help. I also think I was lucky because I got to take
Is four pm a kind of witching hour? Is there some sort of Ayurvedic twist of the clock, a Basal Metabolic shift, a change in the internal tides at that time? It seems my daily resolutions fall apart about then. I set intentions each day. Some are affirmations of long-term Sankalpa, others are directions I
I woke up. Breathing tube in my nose, nurses and my mom and dad standing around me, my skin on fire. “Where am I?” I screamed. “Calm down, you overdosed,” said the nurses. “We gave you Narcan and we need you to calm down. Your pulse is too high.” I looked over at the
As I sit here, now aged forty two, and think about my life, many emotions flood my heart. There are so many things I want to write and share with the world. Yet, knowing where to start is sometimes confusing. Sadness comes in remembering the dark, abusive places I have come from. Comfort comes when
After the alcohol and drugs are gone, what’s next? The path of recovery, followed closely with the gifts of sobriety may seem like a hard sell at first. I remember that very day, when I was being asked to choose between the comforts and certainty of active addiction, or choose the great uncertainty of
Choose freedom. How did I come to that? Why did I choose that as a name for a blog? As a title for what the thoughts are that go through my mind. It’s because a moment of freedom creates so much clarity, confidence & inspiration inside ourselves. This isn’t meant to be professional. Honestly,
Another morning ruined. Stale mouth and sweat Puking Cringing Memories flashing great atrocities. In a sick aggressive nature I seek more.
Carolyn Elliott is my latest mentor and probably the most bullshit free teacher I’ve ever had. She has taught me the essence of being fearless and thorough, which is spoken about often in the recovery world, but rarely have I seen it……until now. This exquisite woman doesn’t just sparkle, she sizzles. When I came across