my daily reflections…

i can recall the turmoil, frustration, and confusion i used to feel back in the days of doin my dirt. i was not able to live in the moment, right now, or even in the day. i was always lookin back at the shit i had done, and lookin ahead tryin to make the next move as intelligently as i thought i could. every thought clouded by the character defects and shortcomins of my alcoholic thinkin. it always made me angry and hateful within, which was always a precursor to loneliness and despair, which caused the bitter entanglement of self-pity. to be emotionally healthy with those states of bein was impossible. i have learned through my recovery experience how to not live in the pollution of my alcoholic mind. today i get to use the principles which promote a healthy emotional lifestyle. when i sense those lessons learned becomin a trip into self-pity, i get to turn hopelessness into hope when i am honest about the faith i need to seek. it is a turn from anger, hatred, loneliness, and despair when i remind myself im powerless over everythin outside of me and no longer have to live in fear of yesterday or tomorrow. when i live right now, today, as best as i can, i clear up the wreckage of my past and set myself up fer a brighter, more hopeful tomorrow. 1 day @ a time...