my daily reflections…

learnin to accept my character defects and shortcomins, completely, was a start toward lettin em go. the writins from step 4 and the tell to my sponsor of step 5, let me see each on paper and hear objective and subjective, constructive, feedback on how i used em to surround myself in fear and loneliness, weaponizin each. was i truly ready to let these emotions and defenses, these ideas, and attitudes, which kept me safe fer so many years, go? willingness was somethin i needed to lean on my HP fer. i mean, these emotional hangups kept me alive, they provided me with safety, yet they were also what continued to keep me sick behaviorally, emotionally, psychologically, and spiritually. the life of bitterness, guilt, resentment, anger, and fear, without a positive way to manage em with healthy solutions, had to be let loose. and as i learned, and had heard others in the rooms tell, they gave em to their HPs. today i look back at this early willingness and reckon, as meager a start it was, has become a solid foundation to pursue; it has enabled me to live free. 1 day @ a time...