my daily reflections…

i had harmed my family, others, and myself very badly. it wasnt theirs, or anybody elses, responsibility to fix the mess i had made. i had used words before and always fell back on em. i had written solemn oaths and signed decrees promisin i would change. they were all ears, and surely, they may have created some kind of hope shit would change. but in short time, i was back to doin the same shit, and sometimes worse, than before. action put forth into changin behavior and words never lasted. i was too self-absorbed. what i needed to do was commit to livin my life differently than i ever had before. i needed to behave my way into a different way of livin that others could see. i needed to start walkin the talkin i was doin and keep to doin it. i needed to start spendin time with my family, others, and myself in healthy ways. i needed to make promises that were kept, admit what i did to others, with no excuses fer my behavior. i needed to own it. when i did speak, i needed to express how i was gonna make these transformations, then stick to em. today im still livin my amends. i dont think that will ever change. 1 day @ a time...