my daily reflections…

ownin up to the wrongs i had done to others once seemed like an impossible proposition. i was racked with fear when it was explained to me that this step was necessary, not optional, for my recovery. at first, all i could hear was that without it i would surely drink again and never get better. that thought alone terrified me, but it also left me paralyzed, starin at the list in front of me as fear kept poundin at my heart. it was only when i sat down with my sponsor that i realized i had missed somethin crucial. he reminded me of what he had said before, though i had not truly heard it: “become willin, joel. that is all this requires of you.” i thought i had been listenin, but in truth, fear had deafened me. i came to see that willingness itself was the key, the doorway to spiritual action, without which no progress could be made. today, i understand that willingness is a recurrin precursor to nearly everythin i attempt to accomplish. it is the soil from which my spiritual growth emerges. when i find even the smallest reason to believe that i can move forward, with the help of my HP and the community that surrounds me, the seemingly impossible becomes manageable. my development since those early days in recovery has grown immensely, and i can now see that willingness is not somethin i wait to feel; it is somethin i choose to practice. from that choice, all movement and growth flow. 1 day @ a time…