my daily reflections…

i am still facin a long season of reconstruction ahead. my alcoholic journey began at the age of 13, and it took 24 years before i finally had enough and stopped at age 37. today, i am 20 years and 140 days removed from that last drink. when i measure my life in days, the reality is clear: i lived 1,316 more days in active alcoholism than i have in recovery. in other words, i am still in the process of practicin recovery long enough to balance the scale against the years i practiced alcoholism. i have surrendered, accepted my disease, practiced honesty, built a relationship with my HP, made my amends, and continue to live out the latter steps on a daily basis. yet none of that means my alcoholic way of thinkin has disappeared. it still exists within me. it has weakened over time as ive practiced the principles, but it remains alive and capable of growin if i neglect my program. i must be vigilant every day to keep it at bay. ive heard it said in the rooms: “alcoholism is a subtle foe.” ive witnessed this truth firsthand as ive watched trusted friends with long-term quality recovery get blindsided and pulled back under. that knowledge keeps me on guard, not only in my weakest moments but also in my strongest ones. so today, i ask God daily to help me align with His will. if i continue to stay willin, continue to practice these principles, and remain alert, i have a fightin chance to keep growin, not only emotionally, but psychologically, behaviorally, and spiritually. that growth is what keeps me sober and gives meanin to this second life ive been given. 1 day @ a time...