New Year’s Eve Without the Usual Stupid Decisions
By a guy named Frank who’s finally tired of waking up in a ditch
I’ll be honest with you: New Year’s Eve used to be my Super Bowl of Bad Ideas. If there was a dumb choice to make, I made it. Twice. Sometimes I’d wake up on January 1st with one shoe, no wallet, and a strong suspicion I’d promised someone I’d help them move.
So yeah, this whole “sober New Year” thing felt weird at first.
Last year, instead of doing something impressive like passing out on a stranger’s lawn, I was sitting on my couch eating leftover pizza and watching a documentary about a guy breaking a code to win WWII. I remember thinking, Wow. I have become extremely boring.
But then midnight hit, and something strange happened. I didn’t feel like death. I didn’t have to apologize to anyone. I didn’t have to check my phone for evidence of crimes. I didn’t have to piece together the night like a detective with a head injury.
I just… existed. And honestly? It was kind of nice.
The Thing Nobody Tells You About Staying Clean and Sober
Here’s the truth: sobriety doesn’t make you fancy. It doesn’t make you wise. It doesn’t make you suddenly good at yoga or meal prepping or whatever people on Instagram do.
What it does is give you a fighting chance at waking up on January 1st without shame, bruises, or a mysterious Uber charge to a town you’ve never heard of.
That’s enough for me.
My Big Plans This Year
People keep asking what I’m doing for New Year’s. I tell them the truth:
“I’m staying home and minding my business.”
Maybe I’ll cook something. Maybe I’ll fall asleep before the ball drops. Maybe I’ll sit outside and listen to the neighbors scream at fireworks like they’ve never seen fire before.
Whatever I do, I’m doing it clean and sober. Not because I’m a saint, (trust me, I’m not) but because I’ve already lived the other version, and it sucked.
If You’re Trying to Stay Clean and Sober Too
Listen, I’m not here to give advice. I’m barely qualified to give directions. But if you’re heading into the New Year sober, I’ll tell you this:
You’re not boring. You’re not missing out. You’re not doing it wrong.
You’re just choosing not to ruin your life tonight. And honestly? That’s a pretty solid plan.
I’m sorta looking forward to another year of not waking up in a ditch!
