my daily reflections…

i have learned since my recovery began the true limits of my self-reliance. surely i am equipped today to do the things necessary to sustain my alcoholism. but if i am honest with myself, i have limits as to what i can do. there are times i need help. lookin back on the days of doin my dirt, i would either storm into whatever was in front of me without much thought or try to avoid it totally. there was not much honest thought in the action or lack of, that i could commit to a personal responsibility to face or deal with what was right in front of me. whatever i did, i was racked with fear. and that doesnt mean that today i still dont feel fear when i am faced with a responsibility, cause sometimes i do. its just that today i can take the time to honestly assess a situation and plan based on knowledge, experience, and wisdom. this almost always is a time when i need the help of my HP to give me the strength and courage to move through whatever it is with strength, courage, and faith. and sometimes it even means that i need the help of others, my trusted friends in or out of recovery. whether racked with fear today or not, i cant do it alone any longer, i have to give it up and accept direction from my HP and/or others when i do not have the tools or emotional strength to work through my personal problems. i have learned through personal inventory the limits of self-reliance for me. often times after prayer and meditation i need to be patient for answers to come. in this time i get to prepare myself rather than feel the impetuous to react in haste, makin things worse. ive learned to listen solidly to the voice within me and follow only the path of healthy satisfaction. i am aware of talkin a better game than i play. i dont say a thing today that i cant back up with healthy, positive, action. ive learned that the ultimate defense or offense is a spiritual one. today i dont have to suffer from the consequences of poor judgment because of my spiritual malady or reliance upon self alone when i place my will under His direction. 1 day @ a time...