my daily reflections…

ive had to take the time in my recovery to discover the spiritual principles and then relate them to my life so i could find out what they mean to me. usin em as tools has provided me an education and wisdom through experiencin em as ive applied em. when i 1st came into the rooms i heard in meetins various spiritual terms and wondered how someone could live up to such ideas. i had confused em with concepts i had learned in my youth through religious services. i had always thought that i either had to live by the stringent or demandin definitions of em or be considered a failure and sinner among my peers and even to self, let alone, God. so, did i have a prejudice about spiritual terms and principles when i came into the rooms? yes, i did. i had this because i learned to condition my mind to be closed to the openness that recovery eventually taught me to have. i mean, if it suited me to my thinkin, then great, but as soon as someone or somethin came along that described or tried to change that perception, i cast the concept or entity to the wayside and went about my merry way. i was faced with the question when i came into the rooms, did i want to continue to live the way i had been, or change so i didnt have to feel the way i felt within any longer? was i gonna learn to have emotional sobriety or was i gonna continue to whoop my own ass repeatedly? i had to open my mind to the ideas of others and the program of recovery. it took time, seconds turned into days, days turned into months. learnin to use faith as an asset instead of personally defined detriment, was exactly one of those spiritual terms. could i learn to use it surrenderin, acceptin, and toleratin failure, and even success, with some kind of humility and honesty? i learned i could, which taught me that the only judgement i had to overcome was my own. i could work for, and with, God if i could put aside my prejudice. today i get to have a belief in creativity that forever brings hope. i get to take risks and learn from em. and most importantly, i get to use awareness, acceptance, and action, to fix somethin if i figure out its a problem for me by usin spiritual principles when i dont know whats quite wrong. 1 day @ a time...