my daily reflections…

today, i think on my program of recovery and am amazed at how each principle is spread throughout each step, yet i cant move forward with another step until the current step is possessed with any amount of understandin. the miracle of step 6 happened long before i ever approached it. just like it took humility to become honest, just like it took perseverance to gain a sense of hope, and just like it took a dive into integrity to grow faith and become open-minded, each of the ideas behind any given step took a lil bit of another step before i could fortify another principle. willingness seems to have to influence me, without me even knowin it, before i can advance. and certainly, had to be somethin i was willin to do as faith became a character asset i worked toward ownin and possessin. as i understand willingness today to mean consent or readiness to do somethin or an inclination or preference, i had to try to use it to cultivate faith in somethin more than my own cognitive ability or physical effort. just as this mornins readin suggests, i found in my program of recovery, once i had placed the key to willingness in the lock of self-rigidity and self-preservation, with the door ever so slightly open, i could always open it some more. but it took me throwin out lil pieces of self with bits of self-love, discipline, and patience, so i could experience the results of trust and faith. it took blind enthusiasm to give up my self-knowledge so i could see how empathy toward self and others could be beneficial in learnin what faith could mean to me. it was the empathy of others that helped me gain empathy of self so i could let loose of my innate and insane ability and replace every brick in the wall of rancor with a stronger brick of faith and spiritual awareness. i had to concentrate on makin myself feel safe and somewhat comfortable, as part of a nurturin, lovin attitude toward myself, could permit me 12 steppin myself to grow faith. i discovered that it is impossible to give without receivin or receive without givin. new ideals and new attitudes would bring a new life. such, willingness, is a key to inner growth for me and a buildin block toward faith. 1 day @ a time...