my daily reflections…

i cannot tell ya’ll that i still dont suffer from self-pity from time to time. i reckon ya’ll know im human, God made me so i could feel all or any of the emotions any human feels. self-pity is most def an emotion that still strikes even as im well into my recovery and have practiced spiritual principles. to say it is consumin, doesnt give it much credit in my opinion in regard to how debilitatin it can be for me. it does cut me off from my HP, as well as others. i get blocked and cannot seem to find a way out of the self-victimization or demoralization it creates. my self-esteem is another area that gets affected when i let self-pity run its course within. before my recovery i was racked with self-pity and could only use alcohol to encourage and build anger and hate for others and myself. today i aint gotta live too long in self-pity or self-victimization. recovery has taught me the feelins within that cause the characters it provokes to enact themselves. id rather feel the big warm fuzzy within of care, empathy, consideration, and understandin rather than live in, neglect, hate, indifference, or confusion. recovery has offered, then shown me, how to depend on God for the strength i need to help me do my part in makin the world a better place for others and myself today by usin simple tools included within the spiritual principles it provides. ive learned how the connection with my HP and others can help provide me the force for good and wholeness within my universe, its spirituality. today, it is not that i think or believe, but that i know how the relationships ive formed because of my recovery can help me overcome me. its been proven through personal inventory again and again. i aint gotta remain blocked from the goodness in the world because of a faulty thinkin within. spirituality is more than a mere feelin, its an action i get to do to work through my thinkin usin behavior. ive learned through the faith of step 3, my life is no longer any of my business, it is a shared life with my HP. with good orderly direction, ive experienced, i felt, i now believe, there is more in my life than just i. i aint gotta remain stuck in the false comfort of self-pity, i have a choice. 1 day @ a time...