my daily reflections…

how can i live with the “number one” offender of my character, my ego, and false sense of pride? why did i, for so long, allow my thinkin to dictate my behavior because of perceived slights to me? the delusion i suffered from became so exhaustin my only recourse, without a positive solution to live with resentment, was to drink the emotions caused through resentment away. and it worked well for a long time. not only did i allow resentment to make me emotionally, psychologically, and behaviorally ill, it eventually caused me physical problems as well. what recovery showed me was that i didnt have to live in resentment. i could use a spiritual approach to overcome not only ego or self-centered fear, but also the resentments which caused these unhealthy obstacles to healthy livin. i learned if i wanted to keep an inner peace at the center of my bein, i had to let the relationship i had with my HP dwell at the center of my life. when i could muster the courage to do this seemingly simple task, i got to experience His understandin and His grace. today, though i still may encounter resentment, but for the grace of God, i aint gotta live in it for very long before realizin the solution isnt keepin it to myself, but givin it up to Him. even as the hunger for selfish pleasure may become anger and anger become fury before anythin will be done, i aint gotta live it out through harmful action to self or others. i get an opportunity to have charity for self, the thinkin process that causes the resentment, then the perceived entity that i feel caused the resentment. i can let the gratitude i feel for His intuitive thought and the spiritual principles of recovery enable me to give forgiveness, hope, and love. i get to live one of the most important lessons i have to learn, the lesson that will eliminate all of my pain and struggle, when i can fully receive that which is offered in each moment of my life by my HP. with personal inventory, i get to discover and live the spiritual lesson that truth is to inner space what sunshine is to a garden. i get to 12 step myself with experience, strength, and hope. 1 day @ a time...