my daily reflections…

false pride is a character defect i must watch out for in my recovery. sometimes the shit around me can seem to be goin so well that i start to fall back into the behaviors and thinkin i used to have while back in the days of doin my dirt. when i go to self-aggrandizin i create a block to my HP. i begin to distort my ego. i must remember from where i came and what i learned through steps 4, 5, 6, & 7. i can ill afford the self-delusional and self-centered fears of an ego which thrives on bein prideful. it is a breedin ground for the potential to pull out all stops so i hold on tightly to somethin disagreeable. false or unhealthy pride is destructive when i am proud of doin somethin that hurts others or sets my will ahead of my HPs. i must remember the learnin that has taught me that my false pride is pure ego, and what did my ego provide me for years? as far as my opinion of this thing we do, there are other offerins for me to keep gainin the blessins ive been able to receive. i understand this program is not the only way others find recovery. even as it has worked well for me, id be a fool to claim it as the only way to overcome alcoholism. i have several friends that have found recovery in other ways. and any number of those ways may have worked well for me had i been able, at the time, to accept their program. what i must do is stick to my own convictions and not worry so much about what everybody else is doin. as i live this lifestyle, each day i get the opportunity to ask that God may supply me with strength and show me the direction in which He wants me to grow. i get to experience these things as they come naturally from my cooperation with Him. when i forgive myself for the false pride of yesterday, i get to look forward to the healin that comes today. i get to surrender and accept anothers way of life and their choices for personal success. i get to acknowledge their decisions and live alongside them with grace. my behavior changes my thinkin away from the sense of false pride which makes me think i only know the best way. when i live with a God conscious, as best as i can, sometimes it means action and more action, to overcome false pride. 1 day @ a time...