my daily reflections…

it took a while before i could do an honest personal, deep, moral inventory. the first one i did was over the shit that was plaguin me the most at the time. but what that did was open me more to what surrender could offer me. it taught me how the 12 spiritual principles were able to offer me peace of mind. the further i dug into my personality problems; the more surrender became an asset that allowed me to explore more of what recovery could do for me. as i dealt with my emotional deformities and humanness, i was able to be more open to acceptin that others may have had some of the same deformities and humanness i had. this opened my horizons, and view, as to how forgiveness could lead me to love for them. i must state that before i could offer this to anyone, i had to learn how to offer it to myself first. in the dark recesses of my mind when alone, or anytime, my mind wanders for the answers to problems within which i need solutions for. before my recovery i had nothin for these times but alcohol. today i have a relationship with an HP that i can lean on til im able to share with trusted friends in recovery. today as i endeavor to persevere, growin, evolvin, and convalescin, as i increasingly learn more about myself with the asset of personal moral inventory, surrender persists and im able to sustain a stable, healthy, balanced, and sane life. i still fail, and i still succeed, but today as i learn how to further work and live with my emotions, i find i need to keep surrrenderin em to my HP. my relationship with Him helps me better the relationships i have with others. for it is when i give of self, i get to receive. and its really simple mannn, it doesnt mean i have to give everythin away, ive already done that, literally. it just means i have to surrender to self and not be SO extreme in my wants so others may feel the same ease and comfort i get to experience. when i surrender i get to remove all blocks that are keepin me from my HP. He is then able to come into my life with power, courage, and strength. surrender and self-examination open me to the language of the heart, a language that i can understand and pass onto others. i get to give others, and myself, dignity as i listen for direction instead of bein agitated or doubtful. its humility mannn. 1 day @ a time...