my daily reflections…

i cannot say i ever thought myself religious. i can say ive always had a belief in God, i just chose to turn my back on Him in my youth. today i have a definite belief and faith in Him, as i know and understand, even as i turned my back on Him, He never turned His back on me. the fact that im here today writin this daily reflection is most def proof to me. ive learned in my recovery that religion is a synthetic, manmade, concept, much like the recovery program i choose to follow; even as i find it divinely inspired. ive also learned that spirituality, even as its words and definitions are concepts made by man, their ideas, i feel, are guided by a purpose beyond my conception. to me, that conception beyond, is my HP. idk where false pride, or if it, can fit into what i just stated, but i do know i lived a life prior to my recovery ladened with false pride. i always boasted about a person i wasnt, yet had foolishly and genuinely thought i was within. today i dont try to tell anybody of the spirituality i have, i do try to show them. i may speak of spiritual terms, i may speak of how i hope to live them in my life, but the true tell is what i do. if my actions & behaviors meet the tone and sound of my talk, or if they dont, then it is for another to make up their mind of the tell of my recovery. i can say this, if i hadnt surrendered, accepted what i found through personal moral inventorys, and actively tried to humbly work and live a program of recovery, i wouldnt be alive today. when i go to tryin to let ego or pride falsely run my life, in short time, because of the growth and evolution of the recovery i choose to live within, i begin to feel the irritability, restlessness, and discontent of the days of doin my dirt. these feelins are a true tell to me of where im at emotionally, psychologically, behaviorally, and spiritually. it is when i feel these upheavels, i must make the decision to change toward what recovery teaches me or go on to suffer the results of my action and thinkin. today i want to feel much lighter and accept what is goin on with my life. i dont want to suffer the pain which comes with stressful action or thinkin. i want to expect miracles in the lives of others and myself. i want to feel im bein used by my HP to help people change. this is humility. 1 day @ a time...