my daily reflections…

when it comes to sharin my story i always think to my earliest exposure to recovery. i think of those who tried to show me the way and express their storys in hopes it would help me. i think of how they didnt press me to relate or ask me to identify how my life was like theirs or theirs like mine. they simply said what it was like, what happened, and what it was like today. one of my earliest recollections is of a guy i met when i was sentenced to an outpatient counselin service after bein arrested for sellin marijuana in my early 20s. this gentlemans name was bill, a counselor at the facility i was goin to. he had retired an engineer for the railroad and was an active member of this thing we do. i couldnt tell it then, i was too full of self, self-centered, but i so feel like he sensed within, the path i was headed down. he gave me his copy of the 12 & 12, which for some odd reason, i still have today. there are many other storys ive gathered along my journey, but for some reason, beyond my own, i remember bill f. this mornin, some odd 30yrs later. how or why i still have this book, through all the shit i went through, to today, i could not say. what i can say is, bill carried the message to me as many others have along my lifetime. idk if bill every thought i would keep this book, or even ever, use it, which i do. but what he was doin, was showin me da way, doin his part for his own recovery, whether i would have it or not. today its my turn to do as bill, and so many others have done for me. i must use the humility & grace they did, to pass on the blessin of recovery whether another may have it or not. it aint gotta be all hardcore, it can happen just as subtle as my alcoholism was. today, i get to live a life without the days of doin my dirt comin back to haunt me, as they used to. i get to humbly use that experience, good and bad, to help another. i get to hold my life in trust for God, understandin or considerin, my life as no longer, all my own. my story, just as bills did me, can help those who still suffer. i get to willingly share of the miracle of recovery. 1 day @ a time...