Detachment

As someone who experiences bipolar disorder, I can be far too emotional for my own good. I have posted a number of negative comments here on ITR, only to regret it later because of the push back I receive from other members. Thankfully, I know how the 12 steps work and continue to work on my personal inventory, sorting out my traumas the recovery way. Detachment is something I seem to learn only after I have hurt myself enough with a specific behavior to have learned I no longer want to behave in that manner. One of my behaviors that is toxic for me, is allowing other people to destroy my peace. That is very codependent and clearly results in consequences I can no longer live with. Once I have identified the behaviors, it is my responsibility to confess the exact nature of my wrongs and replace the behavior with something completely different that allows me to maintain peace in a situation that once disturbed me. The last time I was disturbed, I reached out to a few different people here on ITR and other friends in recovery to help me sort out my resentments and move past them into something more useful. What I was reminded of is that I have poor boundaries and need to limit my emotional investment into anything I feel is unfair or unjust. Being right is a form of sickness, it creates the illusion of righteousness when in reality what is really happening is the Law of Attraction. The LOA explains that we are always attracting everything we experience in life, both good and bad and both things are gifts with divine purpose and perfection of timing. The truth is, we as humans will attract people, places, things and situations of matching dysfunction until we heal the parts of ourselves that need them. Healing, means letting something go. Letting go, means experiencing all of the painful emotions associated with loss, including admitting we are wrong about something and the root of our own problems. Only then can we find peace. Detachment, is letting go before we are too invested. It means setting a limit on how much we will think about something and how much emotion we will accumulate in relation to that something. It means remaining peaceful, where we once lost control over our emotions. This is not about shaming ourselves into a new behavior. Shame is crippling and the single worst thing we can experience in life. It destroys peace and warps reality, making everything hurt more and seem more important than it is. I came to ITR with a mission and long term goals. First, I came to heal, to take my recovery to a new level and fill a void where I was unable to get to enough face to face meetings due to financial and time constraints. Frankly, I need a lot more rest and isolation than I once did and going to a face to face meeting ends up being a 2 to 3 hour event, compared to attending a meeting on ITR that only takes an hour of my time. The second goal was to develop my skills to become a paid sponsor and cultivate new clients from the general public. I will never ask someone I meet in recovery for money, it is completely unethical. At the same time, people in recovery often lack commitment and my paying clients get far more out of the process than my free sponsees do. I only have a handful of paying clients now, but I am going for a long term goal so I am not worried about this current shortage. Detachment is also part of manifesting. A man known as Bashar discovered that there are 7 key elements to the law of attraction and that letting go was the final critical stage. The steps are: 1). Vision - Visualize what you wish to manifest 2). Desire - Be excited about what you wish to manifest 3). Belief - Believe what you wish to manifest is possible 4). Acceptance - Accept that what you wish to manifest is already true 5). Intend - Make it your intention to create and make space for this manifestation 6). Action - Take action as if this creation is already happening 7). Allowance - Detach from the outcome, let go of all expectations of what the exact result will be To put this process into realistic terms, consider a relationship you wish to manifest. To detach, means we are not attached to any one specific person, instead any person who matches the energy we want in our lives. This person may look and sound far different from what you want, however, they will be exactly what you need. I am creating a new occupation for myself, while I am still healing from severe narcissistic abuse traumas. Healing, means I recognize that I put myself in those painful situations where I would experience losses. I need to let go of all of my resentments, no matter how right I feel I am about them, or I will never be able to manifest as much as I once have. Only after I have release all of my anger and cried every tear, can I once again accept positive outcomes into my life. Anger clouds my judgment and ruins so many things for me, I look forward to the day when that is no longer true. I have faith and complete confidence it is possible because I see it happening for people in recovery every day. I will forever be grateful to Alcoholics Anonymous for being the first organization that taught me, resentments need to be released, (I have been a resentment factory all my life). Thank you for reading and for the support. None of this would be possible without the fellowships of recovery I participate in and I need to give a special thanks to ITR for creating a platform with so many to select from. I currently participate in AA, Al Anon, Coda, ACA, Dual Diagnosis and occasionally NA. I gain something special from each of them. Thank you also to the many people who perform service work here, including the people I have fought with. May my words have meaning for you. Sincerely, Rev. Jeff Rounds for Mixed Recovery, Inc.