Step 8: Your Personal Guide to Making Amends and Finding Peace
Step 8 is another pivotal moment in recovery, focusing on accountability, healing, and reconciliation. It requires you to make a list of all persons you have harmed and become willing to make amends. This step is not just about apologizing—it’s about taking responsibility and preparing for meaningful change.
Understanding Step 8
The official wording of Step 8 is: “Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all.”
This step builds on the moral inventory taken in Step 4 and prepares you for Step 9, where direct amends are made. It’s a social housecleaning, helping clear past wounds and emotional burdens.
How to Accomplish Step 8
Working Step 8 requires honesty, courage, and self-reflection. Here’s a structured approach:
Create Your List
- Review your Step 4 inventory to identify people you’ve harmed.
- Consider both direct and indirect harm—not just actions, but neglect, dishonesty, or emotional damage.
- Write down what happened and how it affected the person.
Assess Your Willingness
- Some amends may feel too painful or intimidating—that’s normal.
- If you’re struggling, talk to a sponsor or trusted mentor to process emotions.
- Focus on progress, not perfection—willingness can grow over time.
Prioritize Your Amends
- Some people may be ready to hear from you, while others may not.
- Consider whether making amends could cause further harm—if so, indirect amends may be more appropriate.
Challenges of Step 8
Step 8 can bring up deep emotional struggles, including:
- Guilt and Shame – Facing past mistakes can be painful, but it’s part of healing.
- Fear of Rejection – Facing your fear that some people may not accept your amends can be difficult, but remember that you can only control your actions and in the end if your honest amends are ultimately rejected that’s okay.
- Resentment – You may feel that others also hurt you, but Step 8 is about your accountability, not theirs.
As you are working through Step 8 you may struggle with anxiety about Step 9, where you actually make amends. A freeing recommendation is to focus solely on the list and not worry about the next step yet.
One perspective from Narcotics Anonymous suggests that projecting about Step 9 can be a major obstacle in completing Step 8. Instead, they advise working as if Step 9 doesn’t even exist—just concentrate on making the list and becoming willing.
Another approach from A Hunger for Healing emphasizes that Step 8 is about identifying harm, not immediately fixing it. The idea is to separate the emotional weight of making amends from the process of listing people, so you can approach it with clarity rather than fear.
Personal Encouragement
You may find it very helpful to hear others’ experiences on the process of Step 8. Many people have shared their lived experience with Step 8, highlighting its transformative power:
- Jason W. recalls how making his list felt overwhelming, but once he started, he realized that taking responsibility was freeing.
- Louis M. shares that some people weren’t ready to forgive, but over time, his continued efforts in recovery helped rebuild trust.
- Anonymous AA Member describes how Step 8 helped him release resentment and focus on his own growth, rather than expecting others to respond a certain way.
You can ask your mentor about their experience with Step 8 and you can also find many essays and stories from other’s online on this topic.
Your Roadmap to Liberation
Step 8 is a powerful step toward healing, requiring courage, honesty, and willingness. While it may bring up emotional challenges, it ultimately leads to freedom from guilt and deeper personal growth. Whether or not others accept your amends, the act of taking responsibility is a profound step toward lasting recovery.
If you’re working through Step 8, remember: progress, not perfection. You’re doing the work, and that matters.
