When addressing addiction and recovery, the emphasis strongly seems to be on young people, those trying to turn their lives around before spiralling too far down. But my story differed. I was at one point addicted, and then well along into recovery.
My battles came in the midst of life, juggling family, work, and all the changes that come with aging. Late recovery wasn’t easy, but it gave me something I never expected: hope. It dawned on me that it’s never too late to start over, to begin healing, or to start building a life that is a little more healthy and balanced.
Menopause was sort of the bad girl in this story for me. Usually referred to as a natural transition, menopause felt anything but natural to me. My hormone shifts had me experiencing hot flashes, restless nights, and body changes I wasn’t always very aware of. The heavier feelings were those emotional or mental mood swings, anxiety, and moments of deep melancholy at such intensity that my world felt staggering. Adding in the substance use struggles only thickened the plot.
From my side of the story, it seemed menopause was rarely discussed. Either it becomes a joke about mood swings or it simply becomes one of those things you grow old with. That silencing strategy made me feel alone and very ashamed. When my body and mind went through distress, I would look for some form of relief. Sometimes that meant downing a drink or poppin’ a pill to take the edge off restless nights and anxious thoughts.
I later came to realize I wasn’t alone. Women of this stage in life have been historically overlooked by researchers, but a few reports do indicate increased substance use—sometimes alcohol, and definitely prescription sedatives—during menopause. I could very well see how that could come about. Doctors often end up handing out meds to suppress the symptoms: depression or anxiety—that ought to be helped with hormone treatment. But these prescriptions sometimes bring along a whole new set of side effects.
What I took away was that menopause itself didn’t drive me to addiction, but it created the conditions that made falling into misuse so appealing. With already too much stress coming in midlife—caring for aging parents, raising teenagers, worrying about work and finances, etc.—when my body felt like a stranger, I tended to reach for that quick fix.
The good in all this came as I leaned into recovery. I found out that there were tools and communities that sought me out. And I’ve been embracing them ever since: online recovery meetings, peer support groups, therapy, yoga, meditation, and nutrition to name a few. This helped me go through the phase with resilience.
Just as crucial have been my first tentative inquiries into the otherwise taboo topic of menopause itself. Breaking the silence with other women relieved so much of the shame I once carried.
Now as the weight of change settles in again, I lean heavier on the practices that support my recovery: staying connected, identifying my triggers, and being good to myself. I’ve learned that healing is possible even in the middle of hormonal chaos.
Menopause does not have to mean derailment. For me, it has instead become a gateway toward resilience, wisdom, and balance. I can get through this not weighed down by addiction and instead, with support, gently carried by my recovery.
Editor’s Note: If you’re looking for more support, inspiration, or stories that speak to your recovery experience, we invite you to explore our Blogs & Articles section. Stay connected with the In The Rooms community on Instagram, Facebook, Pinterest, and twitter for daily encouragement, real voices, and reminders that healing happens one moment at a time.
