Self-doubt was the heavy shadow I lived under for most of my life. I was always second-guessing every decision I made. Success, to my mind, felt undeserved. I perfected the art of minimizing my accomplishments before anyone else had the chance to. Entering recovery, I realized that the greater fight was not really with substances or old habits but that inner voice that said, “You’re not enough.”
I started reading stories about people who walked through self-destruction and shame into strength. They didn’t just somehow make it through; they began rebuilding. There was something about that honesty that called to me. That same night, I created an account and attended my first online meeting. I didn’t say a word. I just listened.
My First-Time Experience in an Online Meeting
It seemed strange at the beginning-how people spoke straightforwardly about pain, fear, and hope. But an inner softness from somewhere emerged within me on listening. I was not alone in feeling fragmented. Each one shared with me an image of something I believed I had lost.
What followed was a gradual process of small steps. Daily affirmations. Small victories-saying “I got out of bed today,” or “I showed up for a meeting.” I started typing on chat, “Today I am grateful for…” and finally, for the first time, someone responded with encouragement rather than silence. These little interactions were reminders that kindness could begin with oneself.
These meetings were the anchor. Even on difficult days-emphatically on difficult days-I would show up. Hearing the sharing of others as they faced relapse, grief, or doubt helped me to hold on. When someone said to me, “I was once you,” something changed inside. That shame loosened its grip, and I started believing I could be worthy of healing.
My Circle of Truth-tellers
In The Rooms community became my circle of truth-tellers reminding me that worth is never earned; it is always remembered. Every time I logged into the community, I’d be reminded that the journey is never about perfection; it is about presence.
It is still work and doubt still visits. But today, tools and people meet doubt gracefully. I give thanks. I serve platform whenever I can. I show up, one meeting at a time.
Start small if you are doubting yourself. Let others raise you until you can raise yourself. Healing was never meant to happen alone. Begin rebuilding one moment at a time. It is an investment in you.
Editor’s Note: If you’re looking for more support, inspiration, or stories that speak to your recovery experience, we invite you to explore our Blogs & Articles section. Stay connected with the In The Rooms community on Instagram, Facebook, Pinterest, and twitter for daily encouragement, real voices, and reminders that healing happens one moment at a time.
We share real recovery stories while protecting the privacy of those who trust us with their experiences. Many personal details are adjusted or rewritten for clarity and to honor everyone’s voice, ensuring their truth is shared with care and respect.
