One of the first things that were destroyed after my life fell apart was trust, and it was the most difficult thing to rebuild again after recovery.
The faith in me was not only broken from the outside but also from the inside. I couldn’t trust my own decisions, promises or boundaries. It seemed like I was letting myself down all the time, and it was nearly impossible to build trust again.
Despite that, I found that trust was not regained by huge efforts. Consistency, honesty, and everyday choices were the ones that rebuilt it.
I initially tried to restore trust in myself by working on gaining other people’s trust. I was desperate to be recognized, and I also wanted to be considered trustworthy by others. I soon realized, however, that I couldn’t fix things on the outside until I fix them on the inside first.
Therefore, I did little things.
I committed to one thing a day to myself.
I drank water.
I went to a meeting.
I told the truth.
I attended online support meetings
I rested when needed.
I asked for help early.
One by one, these tiny, almost ‘invisible’ acts, became proof that I was indeed capable of change.
I Claimed My Voice
Gradually, I started to take my voice more seriously. I began to pay attention to the people intervening for even a moment before replying. Also, I started to give importance to myself and my feelings rather than just disregarding my inner self. It was my apprenticeship to give up on choosing pain numbing and instead it was almost magically that healing supporting things started to come my way.
Of course I tried to be in touch once again with the people important in my life. It took much time that said and expected still a lot more for the people to allow me back. My process resolved in some relationships being mended. Yet in some cases, a drift situation happened. I got the lesson on the futility of being after acceptance where on the contrary, I was reminded to acknowledge the present reality.
Embracing Who I Am
Trust was never to be born again with words but actions. Not with promising but seeing. Not with being perfect but just being there.
I realized that I am not to alter my personality for anybody as it would be wrong to the sincere me. However, finding solace in my own company was the cream of our hard work. The feeling that I can rely on myself, trust being the base:
I go for relationships that are good for me.
I do not keep my pain within but instead, I talk about it.
I set my limits and that does not make me afraid.
I know when it is time to leave.
I know when it is time to stay.
My Top Priority
Believing in myself is the topmost priority to me for not sacrificing my own self just for the sake of being with someone. It is quite opposite, it means being intuitive and not shutting it down. It also means having faith in my being worthy of peace.
The recovery sessions gave me hints on how to have that trust back eventually and little by little on purpose. I am not a foreigner to myself anymore and being so, I understand my loops, the things that set me off, my gifts, and my vulnerabilities. I receive them all with kindness.
All this time I had thought that trust was a gift from others. Now I know I have to make it from my very essence.
Every day I show up for myself, I rebuild it a little more.
Every day I choose honesty, I strengthen it.
Every day I choose recovery, I honor it.
Rebuilding trust hasn’t been easy—but it’s been worth every step. Because trusting myself again feels like finally coming home.
Learn: When Family Still Has Doubts: How the Holidays Can Be an Opportunity to Rebuild Trust
Editor’s Note: If you’re looking for more support, inspiration, or stories that speak to your recovery experience, we invite you to explore our Blogs & Articles section. Stay connected with the In The Rooms community on Instagram, Facebook, Pinterest, and twitter for daily encouragement, real voices, and reminders that healing happens one moment at a time.
We share real recovery stories while protecting the privacy of those who trust us with their experiences. Many personal details are adjusted or rewritten for clarity and to honor everyone’s voice, ensuring their truth is shared with care and respect.
