my daily reflections…

oh, the pain i caused whiles out doin my dirt, it did get bad enough to make changes in my life. the pain i caused others was what the final breakin point was fer me. i had destroyed peoples hopes and dreams of livin a happy normal life; i had also destroyed my personal aspirations as well. whenever i get down and start beatin on myself i recall those last few months of loneliness, locked in a motel room shiverin from the painful denizens of shame, guilt, and remorse. feelin like there was only one way to get rid of all this, and it wasnt recovery either. i am thankful fer the brief moment of clarity i had, that slight idea that i could change all of this; God spoke to me in my deepest darkest time. today i am also thankful, at times, fer the memory of those days. they make me realize what i can become again if i dont live the spiritual principles suggested by the 12 steps. they say one can truly be healed by the misery and devastation of their past, they can go on to help others by sharin their story, i genuinely believe this. i am grateful fer the opportunity to be a productive member of society once again. 1 day @ a time...