my daily reflections…

everythin i believed in had to go when i made my venture into the rooms this last time. if i couldnt have what had kept me sane, so i thought, what was i to do? im an intelligent man and thought i had done well but faced with the proposition of continuin to drink and lose even more or do a whole mess of shit that i truly didnt want to, was the decision i was faced with. i had to really think about the shit storm i had left when i came into the rooms. did i want the hope i was seein in others through their cheerful banter and jovial belly laughs, even if those laughs were at me? turns out, they werent, and yes i did want the freedoms and hope i watched others havin. it meant no more drinkin, no more hidin, no more runnin from myself. my sponsor assured me shit would get better if i just stayed the course and followed through fer once in my life. so, i did. i began to face the fact i could not do this fuckin recovery thing alone. i had to have the help, hope, and love of others, and my HP instead of usin alcohol. 1 day @ a time...