my daily reflections…

in my early recovery the 9th step promises offered me hope. as i looked forward to livin toward them i learned some of the step 2 promises. i learned that when i took action of my life, i could turn to a hope that faith in somethin greater than i could restore me to sanity as i had seen in others in the rooms. if those in the rooms could find that a new power would give them peace of mind, inner happiness, and a sense of direction, why couldnt i get the same results. they didnt seem to be so extravagant when i watched those in the rooms live em. of course, i didnt know if i could get the same results, but the ass whoopin i had given myself years prior was foh sho nuff a catalyst for seein if i could. they had done the footwork to gain faith and they told me that i would have to too if i wanted to gain some useful power and manage my life as they were. see they got what they had because they surrendered, it was a task that i had to do too, surrender to alcohol, my alcoholism, and an HP. through their action toward me they showed me how inspiration took the place of their personal aspiration. they sought to grow spiritually so they could be used by God, for me. man, that realization was powerful to me. the wonderful things they were accomplishin in their lives made me become depressed. how could i get what they had? they told me that if i followed the directions outlined within the big book, i could have the freedom of emotions and spirituality they had. they told me that optimism was based upon havin a positive view, was based upon a hope of a better tomorrow. it was a beginnin toward takin action. the 9 step promises, and the 2nd step promises, guaranteed me peace of mind and happiness if i let the personal problems i had go with faith that He would deal with em so i didnt have to. when i began to understand that, i began to grow spiritually. i was able to start to begin to love me, just a little, i aint tryna get too carried away here, as i felt the worth they proved to me i had. they more i began to truly love myself, the more i began to love them. my heart was healin, even though i couldnt tell it. i was shown and given hope, love, and tolerance so i could see and feel all the promises workin in my life. 1 day @ a time...