my daily reflections…

in gainin a sense of humility, i have come to see how it reshapes my understandin of recovery. what i once ridiculed, i now revere. in the days of doin my dirt, i would mock those who sought help in the rooms, blind to the truth that what they had found was nothin less than a lifesavin gift. my ignorance was shielded by arrogance. i remember sittin at a bar, labelin myself an “alcoholic” with a kind of hollow pride, never comprehendin the gravity of that word. it was merely a joke, a casual label, until the reality of what it meant carved its way into my soul. the Big Book speaks of a loneliness known only to the true alcoholic. i know that loneliness. i have lived in its shadow, felt it gnawin through the core of who i was, leavin nothin but emptiness and despair. today, i do not fear that word “alcoholic” nor do i deny it. i embrace it as a truth of my existence, yet i also honor the principle of anonymity. i share my recovery openly, but i do not attach it to the name of this thing we do unless asked in private. this respect preserves the dignity of the gift and acknowledges the countless others who trudge this path alongside me. the gift today is freedom from that desolate loneliness. i no longer inhabit the hollow silence that once consumed me, and i would not wish that torment on another soul. instead, i walk humbly, grateful that what i once mocked has become the very thing that saved my life. 1 day @ a time…