my daily reflections…

durin the last days of doin my dirt, in the motel rooms where self-hatred consumed me, i wrestled with questions that seemed honest but were only evasions: “am i really an alcoholic?” “am i truly ruled by this?” the answers i offered myself, “youre just havin fun”, “youre not hurtin anyone”, they dont understand ya”, were distortions i half-believed as i reached for another drink. today i know i am not the exception. my alcoholism deceives me as readily as it does anyone else. step nine has taught me that Justice begins with truth-tellin: first with myself, then with others. Justice is not retribution but restoration, a clearin away of illusion so that right relation can be restored. through my HP, added assurance from my sponsor, and the principles of recovery, i get to see through my own self-deceptions. as i practice this Justice, i understand each day, i am an alcoholic and an addict; there is a solution, and i am not it. 1 day @ a time…