my daily reflections…

i was one of those who required the hard knocks before i could confront the truth about my alcoholism and about myself. no matter what i gained or lost, alcohol always came first. i lived under the delusion that if certain conditions were met, if i had this or if that were removed, i would finally be well. yet in the end, my choice was consistent: i placed alcohol before all else. for fleetin moments it seemed to fill the unfillable void, the black hole in the pit of my soul, though its comfort was only temporary and ultimately destructive. when i entered recovery, my sponsor pointed out what i had failed to see: my priorities were inverted, and this disorder lay at the root of my sufferin. he counseled me to adopt a new order, God first, recovery second, and service toward others third. he promised that if i could sustain this realignment, life would begin to order itself rightly. in this sense, step nine taught me that Justice is not simply about repairin external harms, but about learnin to live by right priorities. Justice requires that self no longer occupies the first place. my selfish desires, once enthroned, had to be displaced so that my HP and the work of recovery could stand at the center. only then could restoration, within myself and with others, become possible. 1 day @ a time…