my daily reflections…

when i came into the rooms i had to learn how to do recovery. the things i was learnin were things i had never truly done before. surely i had wanted to do some of these things but was held back by the resentment i had and the spiritual malady i lived. fear and anger were parts of the resentment and self-will that blinded me from tryin to be a person of true integrity. i had to learn what humility was and how to practice it. i learned that if i wanted to use faith as a cornerstone for my recovery, humbleness would allow me to grow faith. surrender brought about acceptance that the faith i had in self, was what brought me to the place i was. in learnin what faith could do and be for me the self-centeredness i had practiced all my life had to be turned from service of self to service for others. these simple things i speak of were not somethin that i found easy to do, but as i practiced givin up self, the faith i had seen others in the rooms began to grow within me. it started with faith in the program of recovery and developed into faith in somethin more than i. as i convalesced from the life i had been livin into a life with healthy boundaries and morals, the spiritual principles helped me cultivate the faith i needed to move forward in my program of recovery. with all of these ideas, fear and anger, resentment and self-will, integrity, humility, faith, surrender, acceptance, and service, all of which i wanted to change at once, i learned that any wouldnt come unless i learned how to condition my behavior and thinkin differently than i ever had before. i have experienced failure in learnin how to grow from or grow toward each of the character flaws and character assets mentioned. each involved a level of personal risk i had to become willin to identify and recognize. the process of tryin is a learnin experience in itself. recovery meant changin my lifestyle. it meant reachin out to others and bein there for another. i had to develop the talents i may have always had but never used in the ways recovery meant. cultivatin faith meant doin all of this so i could look at my past and develop a clear vision for my future. well, today i still have to do these things, and yes, as my recovery evolves and matures, i get to experience the benefits of personal inventory and faith. 1 day @ a time...