my daily reflections…

i have learned through recovery that what i do with my time is my outer life and what i do with my mind is my inner life. together they define who i am. i have been taught that behavior and action have the ability to change my thinkin. i didnt know these things or ever put much thought into em, that i can remember, before my recovery began. i always just did what i wanted to feel right. i thought that if i could find happiness on the outside, i would be happy on the inside. ive learned since the error in my thinkin. step four makes me think of the reality of what my life is. it forces me to make changes in my behavior if i can be honest with myself about the character i find from the process. with disturbed, compulsive, action, or behavior, i begin to think i can outsmart myself and others by overthinkin the compulsiveness of my actions. with the reality found within the results of personal inventory i am given the opportunity to face myself without the lies i always told myself. it may be somethin not thought much about, but with the idea that i want to change from the old way of livin, i get the opportunity to change my behavior, so i can change my actions, so i can change my thinkin. my behavior is the psychological, or mental aspects, of my mind that make the actions i do physically, without thought, that can determine outcomes which help me to change the way i think or perceive the world around me. it may sound like some pretty deep shit im talkin here, but what is my recovery if i dont take the time to figure out what makes me who i am so i can change my world around me. i dont want to continue to destroy myself today. i want to grow in my recovery emotionally, behaviorally, psychologically, and spiritually. not stay stuck, fuckin myself out of the life my HP has planned for me. when i gain knowledge of self, i gain power. i can find peace and rest in my imperfections. fear then has no way to interrupt my lifestyle. when i get to know me through personal inventory i can be grateful for the chance to know other men and women and share my life with them so they share their lives with me. the blessins of personal inventory become the most effective painkiller for my alcoholism. thats courage mannn. 1 day @ a time...