my daily reflections…

i reckon i couldnt say that this thing we do doesnt work. today, i have had the personal experience that it does work. in the later days of my drinkin, when i may have scoffed at the things i heard from others, tellin me i needed to stop drinkin, that recovery does work, that my selfishness affected others, then becomin aware of the fact that alcohol did have some control over me, and the will to not take that next drink was gone, the scoffin i did came to bite my nose. i had to surrender and admit to myself that the mess i had made of my life wasnt someone elses fault anymore. i had to find some way, some other way rather than my own way, to survive without alcohol bein a part of my life. admittin complete defeat was a drastic step for me to take. but thinkin bout where i was at, what i had become, while sittin on a park bench, beatin the hell outta myself, i had to become ready to move out of the life i was livin onto a new way of life. recovery offered me a new lifestyle, but as mentioned, these things i had to do were drastic to say the least. i did notice that as i started to slowly start adoptin em as concepts to live my life by, changes occurred within, and i could see and feel the changes my perception was allowin me to experience outside of me. peace of mind, inner happiness, and freedom were unexpected gifts from practicin these new principles. i started buildin a relationship with God. i started to leave His work to Him, without interference from me. i occupied myself with the tasks that He gave me to do. these actions had me startin to believe that only when i removed the specks of judgement that were in my eyes, i was able to genuinely start lovin self so i could love others and accept their love for me. personal inventory had a profound effect on me. by givin all these characters to the hope that my HP could rebuild me from them, ive learned to live with myself, in my own skin. actin like a sober person practicin a program of recovery is somethin i get to do today, somethin i never knew was possible. with the gift of an untroubled mind, peace of mind, inner happiness, and freedom, are what i get to try to offer others. 1 day @ a time...