my daily reflections…

i, alone, am absolutely unable to stop the chaos in my life on the basis of self-knowledge. it has been proved to me through work and practice of the 12 steps that my will power and self-knowledge will never help in the strange mental blank spots when i am tempted to let my self-will run the show. i am an alcoholic who is emotionally, psychologically, behaviorally, and spiritually in a very sick condition when without the help of recovery. there is a spiritual answer and program of action that are my only hope. it has been my experience that the spiritual principles do solve my problems. and with that, i am completely helpless apart from divine help. i understand today that tired work is never effective, and the strength of my HPs spirit is always available to my tired mind and body. with this awareness, i get to be effective in my life. i get to understand and cope with the shit i caused to myself and others. ive learned that a great many of my ideas and conceptions are not in alignment with anothers, nor theirs, mine. it is my conclusion, that when i stop when prodded, take the very quick seconds to bite my tongue and ask my HP through prayer how to proceed, i get his answers while in quiet contemplation through meditation. when i do this i am less likely to cause further harm, if any at all. i get to use the wisdom ive gained knowledge of, through past experience, and personal inventory, how to move forward after receivin His thought and inspiration. learnin how i had dropped out of life, ive had to use each spiritual principle to regain manageability so i could have acceptance so i may use tact and remain culpable for saltigrade when i dont use what ive learned through recovery. i get to use my perception of Gods gift of imagination to think through situations in a healthy balanced manner. i get to affirm my growth and progress in self as a man when i stand in solidarity with others in brotherly love and help them in their need, not cause further confusion by injectin self-centered agendas. ive discovered that it is impossible to give without receivin or receive without givin, that there is a calmness to a life lived in gratitude, a quiet joy. today i get to take part in healin, enjoyin, and recoverin with others when i admit my wrongs and move toward amendin the harms ive done. 1 day @ a time...