my daily reflections…

it used to be that givin somethin to another meant they owed me back. it was without contract or agreement, if i did it, ya owed me. whether it was financial, material, or emotional, i took it whether ya gave it or not. if i didnt feel like ya gave me what i wanted, i then held ya in contempt with grudges and resentment. i would go through the gambit of emotion from anger to frustration. hopin against hope that i would get my just reward and you the one you deserved. these are facts about me i cannot deny. today i live the exact opposite of that way of livin. recovery has taught me how i used to be, opened me to truths about me i had to overcome and make amends for. the amends i make today for the kind of behavior and thinkin from the days of doin my dirt is what this mornins daily speak of. when i live as the 12 spiritual principles suggest, my HP takes care of me in the long run. i dont demand it, i just continue to live forward instead of backward. i let the Devine paradox fill my heart, mind, and soul, knowin that i did my best to give what i could. i dont need to announce to anybody what ive done or why ive done it, i just have to do it. inner peace of mind and happiness fill me when i give of self without expectation of return. the rhythm of life is a powerful beat, one i was not aware of before my recovery began. the reward of givin is a positive and creative energy that leads to transformation within that flows outward to those i interact with, growin my spirituality. i connect with the rhythm of life, the universal beat, when i consciously seek to connect with it. connectin with it is as simple as voluntarily givin of self. life is about connection. one of the best ways i get to help myself is to help another. its a way i get to show each of the 12 steps spiritual principles are alive and thrivin within me. i get to come closer to freedom by helpin another. when i share my story, as i perceive my HP would have me, rememberin the last days of my drinkin, i remember the desperation of sellin the last pieces of my soul. its a blessin to be free today, willin to give effortlessly of self. 1 day @ a time...