my daily reflections…

my sponsor shared with me the same as this mornins readin suggests, why dont ya choose your own conception of God. when he told me this i didnt know how to respond. as he told me his story and how he had done the same as his sponsor suggested, it made sense to me. i didnt have to try to conform to a religious entity as i had been taught in my youth. i didnt have to be trapped into somethin that limited my own spiritual journey. and weedin through all the ideas i had, with my sponsors help, and those in the rooms, i made the choice to define my own HP. this mornins readin suggests “the icy intellectual mountain in whose shadow i had lived and shivered many years.” i can certainly relate! i had done that throughout my teen years eventually findin myself less than and turnin my back on God. when i got into recovery this last time i had to really dig into what i thought my HP should mean to me. as i said, with the help of others, i began to build a relationship with a HP of my own conception, and it wasnt me or alcohol. all i had to do was start usin faith in what ev it was that could guide me away from a lifestyle that had bound me all my life without me even knowin it. i didnt have to be tied down by material things any longer. i was able to start concentratin on doin what i can do best. even as ive failed many times in my recovery, ive had many successes, and ive needed a relationship with my HP and others to help guide me through them. today, as i understand my HP, i aint gotta be pinned down by the opinions of others, whether negative or positive; i get to hear the opinions of others and not be in fear of expressin my own. and i aint gotta fall prey to my own chaotic and incoherent reactions or opinions either. i get to think and make decisions, makin contributions to life, and the world in which i live, i am involved. more than this, i have a spiritual connection and confidence. with the help of my HP, i get to focus on what is truly important to me today. through my gift of sufferin and desperation, God enters through my wounds. 1 day @ a time...