my daily reflections…

recovery crushed my spirit when i started the process of walkin through the 12 spiritual principles with my sponsor. so many of the morals and values which had shaped my character throughout my life were demolished. the first was ego. my sponsor helped me to see how so much of the shit i had done was built purely on selfishness and self-centered fear. processin that alone was extremely hard, how could i had been so wrong for so long. as my sponsor related his own experience to me, sharin his own faults as far as how selfishness and self-centered fear had shaped his ego, he went into how he was able to grow from that into the healthy character assets of humility and responsibility. crushin my ego was an experience i needed, i needed to grow away from the person i had become so i could grow into someone different and better. with my ego subdued, i was able to listen to others and my HP; i wasnt blocked any longer. i had to learn humility so i could finally grow up and be responsible. since those early days ive practiced humility and responsibility as best as i can. from that exercise ive become a person ive never known before. i get to offer my HP my helpin hand so others do not have to go through what ive put my loved ones, others, and myself, through in the past. ive healed and get to continue healin. ive been able to grow in understandin of self through the process of livin the change recovery offers. i have some clarity of thought today that doesnt include only myself. i am an alcoholic. only after years of tryin to change my behavior and attitude concernin my character as it pertains to alcohol, have i eventually come to an understandin of my alcoholism: the denial, manipulation, sarcasm, family history, and mood swings. my efforts at changin ego, growin humility, and becomin responsible have produced a profound understandin of the two magnificent standards this mornins daily reflection readin teach me. when i take personal care of myself by remainin healthy, stayin calm, usin the fellowship, and restin, i have lessened the possibility of lettin ego and self-centered fear take away from the humility and responsibility which have given me the life im blessed with today. 1 day @ a time...