my daily reflections…

tolerance is a principle that always has to begin with me. though i can say this, any of the principles contained within the 12 steps & 12 traditions, had to be learned how to be used as defined by recovery for me. tolerance, as many of the principles, was a concept i had used much before my recovery began, i just used em in the self-willed ways i felt they were defined. i had to learn these meanins so i could practice them to gain healthy behaviors and thinkin. and right off the top, usin tolerance to help me stop drinkin was one of those learnin curves. i had to learn how to live in my own skin while dealin with the avalanche of personal problems i had that were floodin my head. i didnt have alcohol any more to combat that avalanche. and i didnt want to allow my character, at the time, to dictate or rule my emotions as i interacted with self or others. i needed to use tolerance to help me get through those very tryin times. today i still need to use tolerance, but i use it in ways that recovery has taught me are healthy, balanced, and sane. even as my self-will and self-centered fear demand i use tolerance to lower my self-esteem and try to make me beat myself up, the way recovery has taught me to use tolerance is to live with honesty, hope, faith, courage, and integrity. tolerance helps me understand that sometimes the things life brings me arent my fault, theyre just life, and opportunity for me to live my humanness usin Gods will and recoverys guidelines. tolerance helps me work my program of recovery so i may help another if, or when, they approach me. i get to practice trad 5s integrity so i may be used as a connection between another alcoholics need, and Gods supply of strength. i get to be a uniquely useful person usin my own greatest defeat, failure, and sickness, as a weapon to help, and show, others a solution that may work for em. the wisdom ive gained slowly, from repeatedly workin with life on its own terms, throughout my life before recovery and while in the rooms, over time, has helped me develop many tools that now are a pleasure and a privilege to share. positive character assets like, easy does it, one day at a time, and just for today. unselfishness and love have been attitude adjustments which contribute to right actions for the present and future as a result of learnin true tolerance for emotional, psychological, behavioral, and spiritual health. 1 day @ a time...