my daily reflections…

one of the biggest amends i owed was to my family. my alcoholism had caused me to steal their trust, hope, and love. i alone had caused my family to experience anxiety, depression, and shame, leavin them with nothin to combat what i had done. recovery showed me how the actions and behaviors i had done affected my family. by the time i had reached the rooms i had been estranged from them. it took me years to be able to rebuild relationships with em, and still today it is somethin i MUST work on. today, i feel, i have good relationships with all 3 of my children and 4 sisters. before my mother passed i was able to show her for 8yrs, a man her son could be. before my ex-wife passed i was able to rebuild a friendship with her which enabled us to communicate without the character defects i had developed throughout the days of doin my dirt. through livin the 12 spiritual principles of recovery, as best as i can today, i get to build upon those concepts to further strengthen the relationships i had destroyed. each day i live the principles learned through recovery, i get to build a person i hope makes em proud to say i am their dad and brother. without a daily practice in each principle, i dont get the opportunity to continue to rebuild those essential relationships. today i am not estranged. even as time has passed and my alcoholism may still try to have me thinkin im not good enough, i have a solution that helps me have inner peace so i may be at peace with myself knowin im doin the best i can, still, today. as an alcoholic, i selfishly wasted too much time on myself neglectin my family. today i spend time enjoyin life, and i spend quality time alone and with my family when possible. time is a precious gift from God that i should not waste. with time, its healin effects, my HP, and recovery, i get to live an amends toward my family that is emotionally, behaviorally, psychologically, and spiritually healthy for all concerned. with healthy boundaries i dont complicate life any longer, healthy boundaries help me rebuild relationships and simplify life. with meaninful sobriety, as i walk with my HP, He meets me at the steps. lettin me know He is forever there. i love my family more than they will ever know. 1 day @ a time...