my daily reflections…

i would not exchange too much for what i left in the last days of doin my dirt. in fact, i wouldnt trade anythin. there are many things i wish wouldve never happened. there are some things i miss. but all of that, as recovery has taught me, is what progress, not perfection, is all about. i aint got much of anythin i left behind from the days of doin my dirt. and what i do have, ive had to use patience and the most valuable commodity i have, time, to regain. im talkin bout relationships with my children, self-respect and worth, confidence and integrity, these relationships and personal quality are what im talkin bout. especially the ability to own and know what peace of mind is, without the use of alcohol. it aint that i dont still suffer from time to time from excitement, depression, or anxiety, cause i do. its just today, i have solutions that work far better than alcohol ever did, when they come to me. the priceless gift of peace of mind is a direct result of the practice of humility. i get to have some sort of understandin that i aint the one that makes the world go round, i have a concept that the only one i can ever truly change is me, and both provide me with the peace of mind humility offers me. i get to use trust and faith that my HP can change any situation in the field of my personal relationships. i get to use trust and faith to help me change old patterns of behavior that caused a shit storm to surround me and experience wholesome, honest, peace of mind. remainin grateful for what He has given me, i get to live a life of quiet pleasures. its an ability to learn from my personal moral inventorys so i may learn to depend less on myself and more on God. wastin my time tryna control shit only blocks me from the faith and trust ive learned through recovery. ive learned over time, how to balance my mind, emotions, and reactions, is such an important skill to develop. self-esteem nor courage, or confidence, do not have to elude me today, my worth is guaranteed when i humble myself surrenderin to His will. its hard to keep an open mind, full of peace, when im runnin my big fat mouth. so, ima go live my day now. 1 day @ a time...