my daily reflections…

step 9s spiritual principle of justice is another step toward gainin the freedom i walked into the rooms to get. as tough as the thought of this step may have been for me in the beginnin, today i understand its importance. it is an opportunity for me to use each of the prior steps ive worked so hard to understand so i may grow into the spiritual experience the 12 steps offer. squarin up and facin each of the people i named in my 8th step list, explainin to em how i feel i may have wronged em, quietly and patiently listenin to their response, and movin forward to da as they wish so i may live out an amends to em, was a scary proposition, but i did it. it was explained to me early in the process of the steps that willingness was indispensable. this step, just as step 6, separates the men from the boys. it is a time when i have to actually face those i had harmed and break my ego by usin humility to even the playin field. its easy to ask God for forgiveness, it was easy, after buildin a relationship with my sponsor so i could trust Him, to tell of my misdeeds, but to face those i had harmed and offer me up to em, was an act of true and honest humility. i couldnt use it as an attempt to manipulate em. i couldnt use it as an attempt to play the martyr. i had to do it as an honest attempt to set matters straight, to be held accountable to those i had on my list makin em aware that i was cognizant of what i had done. i couldnt try to interfere with the workin of Gods spirit, i had to surrender and accept His will, givin it full rein, through the heart of another. it was my responsibility to advance confidently in the direction of my endeavors to live the life recoverys promises offered, to meet with a success unexpected. i couldnt become what i wanted by remainin what i was. as many breakin points as i had faced throughout my recovery up to this point, i had yet another opportunity to appreciate how the steps and my HP would work in my life. i had to fully rely on God as my chief source of strength and face another humbly. if i really wanted a reason to believe, this stage of my spiritual development was essential. i could no longer try to play His role. 1 day @ a time...