my daily reflections…

idk bout ya’ll, but ive seen dry drunks in the rooms, i dont wanna feel like that, just sober. i remember what it was like to be angry all the time. still stuck in myself. passin on all that hurt and frustration onto anybody that dared cross my path. and for me to remain like that after havin been shown a way to live a full and happy life; man, that just aint who i am. the reason i came into the rooms was because i was sick n tired of bein sick n tired. if i wanted to remain full of hate, why try to start to live and learn a new way? the door was right over there, what i had left out there, was waitin just outside it. all i had to do was take that 1st step out of it, back to the anger, self-delusion, self-pity, hate, and lonesomeness. why sit in a room tryin to grab somethin i truly didnt want draggin er’body else around me down with me. well, sobriety, for an alcoholic like me, aint enough. i gotta practice recoverys spiritual principles so i dont have to feel like that anymore. i dont wanna hold resentment over somethin i aint got, while er’body around me has it. i feel like im intelligent enough to understand and know what i seen in others when i came into the rooms is somethin i still want today. so, if livin and practicin the fundamentals recovery has to offer means livin and practicin propositions like, honesty, hope, faith, courage, integrity, willingness, humility, brotherly love, and justice, mean i aint gotta live like those in the rooms who are unthinkin enough to feel like sobriety is enough, makin an amends, as hard as it may seem from the inside, is what i gotta do. justice is an opportunity for me to continue to lighten the burden of joel. its how i had to look at it when i first made my attempts at it. i had to take the time to rest and abide in the presence of an unseen HP, from this, i get to leave my burdens in His care. i get to affirm reality in my life. i get to be proud to be a member of a group that prizes love and community more than anything else. i get to use hope, unity, gratitude, and serenity to hopefully rebuild relationships with others. i get to strengthen relationships i had once lost with a thoughtful and meaningful amends. i get to build a new life. 1 day @ a time...