So now I´m not just getting clean and sober from drugs; I´m more about healing this relationship with myself. I have been ignoring my needs for years, and I had almost forgotten how to genuinely care for me. Now, the path of healing runs right through an avenue called self-love, which manifests its healing in small ways, one of which might be treating myself to dinner.
The Awkward First Dinner Alone
An excellent word to describe dining alone for the first time would have been awkward. I wondered if people would stare and question why I was sitting by myself. It was also the fear that I might feel odd or pissed off if I felt lonely. The real thing was that after I did sit for lunch, the act proved healing. Dinner with me reminded me that I am worthy of good things, even when I am all alone.
There was a charm in that: sitting at a table—and a table just for two or should I say for one—to order exactly what I wanted and to enjoy each bite without guilt or shame. For so long, such moments of calm and good enjoys were robbed from me. That dinner turned into a ceremony that marked the successes of my recovery.
Finding Charm in Solo Moments
I have learned that self-love doesn’t always translate into big, dramatic gestures. Sometimes the little things that addiction took away—eating a good meal, appreciating silence, or feeling comfortable in one’s skin—are worth restoring. Each time I treat myself, I give myself a great message: I am worthy of love, care, and joy.
These dinners have boosted my self-esteem. They have taught me to enjoy my company. In my own company, I require neither drugs nor affirmation to feel complete. Each step I take in this direction teaches me to consider myself enough just as I am in this moment.
Boosting Self-Esteem Through Self-Care
I wouldn’t start with an elaborated dinner. I began with little things, like meeting for a coffee, or preparing a sumptuous meal by myself, laying the plates for one. After a while, the small things became symbols of self-care, and that is what holds me through recovery.
Recovery, for me, is rediscovering who I am minus drugs. Taking me out to dinner is more than dining; it’s love, a promise that I exist, and a validation that I am constructing a healthier and freer life.
Editor’s Note: If you’re looking for more support, inspiration, or stories that speak to your recovery experience, we invite you to explore our Blogs & Articles section. Stay connected with the In The Rooms community on Instagram, Facebook, Pinterest, and twitter for daily encouragement, real voices, and reminders that healing happens one moment at a time.
